I'm on the verge of adulthood, womanhood, self-discovery, creativity, and sometimes a whole lot of emotions! Feel free to follow my journey!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Beyond Pink and Blue: Gender Roles in Childhood

I wrote this blog post a while ago on feministing.com and couldn't find it until today. Woohoo!


ritish toy store Harrods has recently undergone some major changes. Instead of the standard aisles  separated “pink for girls” and “blue for boys,” Harrods has broken the store into 6 “worlds” where toys are separated by categories, not genders. “Who cares?” some might ask. But this is part of a larger shift in marketing that I believe has the power to change our society’s deep-seated feelings about gender roles.
Gender non-conforming children have been a media buzz for the past few months. Willow Smith got a buzz cut, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt “wears boy clothes” – what is the world coming to?!? Parents, educators and anyone with a laptop have weighed in on the color-coding and gender segregation of childhood. Questions have been asked and dissected about gender, gender expectations, gender non-conformity and how it effects children of all ages.
Books like Cinderella Ate My Daughter illustrates how princesses, female sexualization, fashion and beauty expectations have saturated the girl children’s market with toys that are stifling girls creativity, experiences and perceived choices for their future. Along the same lines, boys are trained from birth through the media to be tough, “manly”, physically strong and muscular and are bombarded with violent toys at earlier and earlier ages.
What happens when the genders are so strictly defined from birth? One common example is that women go into STEM fields at much lower rates than men. Is this because “girls don’t like math and science” or because they are subtly steered to “girly” pursuits like fashion and princess toys while boys play with blocks, LEGOs and tools? SPARK recently protested LEGO’s new “Friends” line because of its pink saturated, gender stereotyping “girl world.” Luckily, they won and new lines featuring female mini figures are in the works. One does not have to look far to see the prevalence of male violence in childhood and beyond and wonder if there is a link between this and the hyper-masculinity modeled in the media.
Another major problem is that we as a society are teaching children not only to have strict gender roles for themselves, but for others. As Carrie Goldman writes in her book Bullied, these strict gender roles cause anyone who deviates from “the norm” to be potential targets for bullying and violence. For children that don’t fit into these roles, school can go from a place of learning to a place of fear.
Children can sometimes be very “black and white” thinkers and seeing a toy advertised for just girls or just boys can cause harmful associations. Media literacy is a powerful component to teach children of all ages and genders to sift through the thousands of messages they receive on a daily basis. Parents and teachers should be communicating acceptance for others from an early age and letting children seek out any and all age-appropriate opportunities they show an interest in.
As an educator and also someone who would like to have children someday in the far flung future, the gender segregation of childhood is very disturbing to me. I want the children that I teach each day to believe that their possibilities are endless. They can be a scientist or a construction worker or a teacher or a doctor or a dancer – no matter what gender! I believe that toy stores like Harrods are taking positive steps in gender neutral marketing and I sincerely hope other companies in the US soon follow in their footsteps.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Listen Up, Mitt

I've been meaning to write this blog ever since these videos/sound clips of you leaked out on Tuesday morning. However, I've been too busy with my full time job to get a chance until now. First of all, let me say that I will not be voting for you in November. Wild horses couldn't drag me to the polls to push the button for your name. Before you write me off as a "victim" unwilling to take "personal responsibility" let me give you the top 4 reasons why I will not be voting for you:

1. You fail to represent about 99% of the population. You are a white supremacist, a sexist, a homophobe and a classist. You believe that you are better than women, people of color, people who make less money than you and people who aren't straight like you. That in itself should be a red flag for your campaign trail.

2. I am a college graduate who worked 3 part time jobs to make ends meet for the first 6 months after graduation. I am now working full time with a child care center that offers medical and dental insurance and a 401K package. Don't you dare call me a victim. Also, don't patronize me and try to act like you know my experience or anyone else's because you "ate a lot of spaghetti" in your 20's.

3. I am a woman. That in itself makes your entire campaign, including your running mate, particularly abhorrent. You told me all I needed to know when you and your party decided that I don't have the intellectual capacity to make decisions regarding my body and reproductive system and that the big, strong men know better. Also, I know that you and your constituents have tried your best to distance yourself from misogynist pigs like Todd Akin, but when you lie with dogs you get up with fleas. I am not an incubator, I am a human being, and all sex or sexual activity requires consent whether it be in a marital bed, after too many drinks or while someone is asleep. Period, end of story. Women have had enough of victim blaming to last another 1,000 years.

4. I have friends and loved ones who identify as bisexual, queer, pansexual, gay, lesbian, transsexual, etc. They deserve to have the rights and respect given to them as everyone else in this country and that includes marriage (and all of the financial and social benefits marriage entails) and whatever procreation methods they decide on. You don't get to decide how much respect someone deserves based on your heteronormative, sexist, classist worldview.

I don't agree with everything Obama has done in the last 4 years and I'm sure that I won't agree with all of his decisions if he gets elected this year. However, I disagree with pretty much everything you stand for on a fundamental level and THAT, Mr. Romney is why you will not be getting my vote or the vote of many other American citizens.

I hope that cleared things up.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thoughts on "Rape Fatigue"


I read feministing.com as often as I check my email. When I found the website it was as if I was finding the feminist Holy Grail. First I just read the featured articles. Then I started reading whatever "What we missed" links caught my eye. At this point, I'm a feministing.com addict and not ashamed. I read whatever I can, and then read whatever I can on any other pages that I'm sent to. I love reading feminist perspectives on gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, abortion, rape, race, etc.

This website has started my wheels turning on the concept of gender identity (being transgendered, gender non-conforming, etc.) which has been really exciting. I am able to read many different perspectives to try to figure out my own personal beliefs.

However, sometimes keeping up with feminist current events is like having another job. Sometimes it's rewarding, exciting, challenging and funny. Other times it's frustrating, depressing, or downright exhausting.

This is why I'm really glad Erin Gloria Ryan wrote this article on Jezebel.com (don't worry, I'm sure I'll become hooked on this site too as well) because I feel the same way. It's truly exhausting to read article after article, misogynist quote after misogynist quote in this seemingly endless abortion war.

As I hope it is assumed by the rest of my blog, I consider myself pro-choice. In cases of rape, incest, fetal anomalies, threat of the mother's life, not being able to emotionally or financially support a baby, whatever. You don't have to explain your choice to me, and you shouldn't have to explain your choice to random politicians, most of whom are men and will NEVER have to deal with this issue on a personal level. I hope to never personally have to make the choice to have an abortion or not, because I don't know what I would do, but the fact that I may not even have the option or that so many roadblocks will be thrown into my path is truly terrifying.

When I read these things, galf of me wants to get up and GO - change things, fight, write letters, write blogs that people will actually read, petition, knit a uterus for a politician so he'll get out of mine, do something! The other half feels completely overwhelmed. What can I do? Where can I go to make a positive impact in my community? I end up not doing anything and feeling guilty about it. The guilt is tiring. The reading is tiring. The being angry is tiring. Tired, tired, tired.

Maybe someday people will read this blog and it won't feel like I'm a hamster on a wheel, spinning out my feminist frustration with nothing to show for it. Until then though, I'll keep reading, learning, thinking. Misogynists haven't figured out a way yet to stop me from doing that.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Grad School Personal Statement - 1st Draft

Oh, the personal statement. As someone who loves to write blog posts and read other peoples opinions, this is still an incredibly daunting task. To apply to grad school, I need to write the following personal statement:

  • Your written personal statement should be 900 - 1500 words in length. Please use narrative form and address the following questions:
  • - In reflecting upon your personal and professional history, what forces have influenced your professional growth and contributed to your decision to seek admission to this Lesley University program?
  • What are your long-term professional goals (ie. new directions, opportunities, interests, skills, professional renewal, and/or work advancement), and how does this Lesley University program help you to meet them?
  • Is there any other information you think would help the Admissions Committee to understand you better (ie special interests, publications, academic achievements, supervisors' references, unusual career path, awards and/or honors, special accomplishments, leadership abilities)?
Can't I just say - "Please oh please oh please accept me into your school I need to go hereeeeee!!!"? This school is one of the main reasons I moved to MA - I'm the grad school version of Felicity following a guy she hardly knows to college! So I've been writing all afternoon and here's what I have so far. It need 400-100 more words, and a lot of tweaking, but here goes:

I believe that music connects people, brings us closer to our own humanity. One of my favorite quotes is "when words fail, music speaks." Choosing to work towards a degree in music therapy has been a journey of finding a way of combing my passion for music, mental health and gender studies as well as my own personal experiences in a way that can help others.
Music spoke to me at some of the lowest points of my life - specifically, my battle with mental health illnesses. In high school I was anorexic and bulimic for a period of 2 years. I believe that this was a reaction to my undiagnosed low-grade depression, which has been following me since middle school. In early 2009 I began counseling at the *my college* Office for Counseling and Wellness. Throughout the next two years I began regular counseling and medication to treat my anxiety/depression. I have tried to give back to the center in small ways such as volunteering for the NY State College Counselors Convention in Summer 2011. 
Through my battle with depression I began to look for ways that I could help others through music. It has been a secret dream of mine for many years to create a  vocal program for those struggling with eating disorders. I would like to offer private and group lessons and run a chorus where young women and men with eating disorders can gain body confidence through music, singing and the body awareness that comes through vocal technique and exploration.
*Grad school* rises head and shoulders above any other music therapy programs I have researched. The more I learn about the program through the website, meeting with current students, and going to tours and info sessions, the more I believe that I can thrive and grow both personally and professionally in this environment. Lesley's program is actually one of the reasons I moved to Massachusetts upon graduation. I am particularly impressed with the internship requirements needed to obtain a master's degree in music therapy.
Since graduating from *my college* in December 2011 and moving to Massachusetts in January 2012 I have worked multiple jobs to make ends meet and gain experience. I am a kindergarten teacher at an after care program and a substitute teacher at an infant to preschool childcare center.I absolutely love working with children, especially young children and bringing music into their day.  I am hoping to start teaching voice lessons out of my house in the fall - teaching young singers to explore their voices in a healthy, safe, positive way. I find that on the smallest level, singing "The Wheels on the Bus" can help a child who is upset or scared or missing their parents. I know that I will always find a way to bring music to children and I believe that music therapy can help me make a positive impact in my community.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Gratitude

Lately, I've been in a funk. I've been feeling like nothing is going well for me, I have nothing good going on here in MA. I feel over-qualified (and underpaid) for my job(s) and can't find/get one(s) I want. I don't have a friend group here and am feeling really lonely. All of this has woken up my dormant depression and it's been back with a vengance - making me tired and unmotivated to change things.

For better or for worse, caffeine (in the form of a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee) helped my mood and productivity today. I realized that I can't sit around whining and waiting for my life to magically get better - I need to make changes, fix things, go outside my comfort zone. I did a lot today that I really needed to do to kick start this coming school year. I know that if I want a life here I need to build it.

One thing that I'd like to start is a daily gratitude journal - at least 3 things every day that I'm grateful for. I'll start it here and probably keep most of the writing on my desktop, privately.

Here are some things I'm grateful for today:
1. The teeny-tiny lady bug that flew on my finger 10 minutes ago and prompted this blog.
2. Seeing the toddlers in the class I sub smile and laugh, even when they're feeling sick.
3. That I had a really good hair day.
4. Eating leftover eggplant parmesean on my lunch break. Nom.
5. Singing through my new rep and remembering why I love to sing

Thursday, July 5, 2012

My Feminist Journey - What I'm Reading/Watching

I've considered myself a feminist ever since I first learned what the term meant. For me, it was an intuitive journey in the beginning. It never made sense to me that as a woman, I shouldn't be able to do anything I wanted to do without being limited by my gender.

But the best things happened for me in college when I started really researching feminist thought through books, blogs, vlogs and documentaries. I started with the ol' standards - The Feminine Mystique, (I picked it up at a used bookstore for $4. It was the 25th edition copy with a new forward by Betty Freidan about how things have changed and stayed the same since she wrote the book. Very cool.), The Second Sex, watching the Killing Us Softly videos, taking a Women's Studies class senior year (and learning more about contemporary gender studies) - and then branched out to whatever interested me on the web and in the library. Gender studies has become a real passion for me and there are a few topics that stand out for me as ones I'm particularly passionate about.

When I started looking into feminist blogs, I somehow stumbled across Pigtail Pals. This blog is all about the media's sexualization of girls that starts almost in infancy and how it affects girls down the road. Melissa looks primarily at the way that toys, clothing, movies and advertising affects girls (and now, boys too!). There is a lot of amazing information about the Disney-princess phenomenon and the recent Lego Friends line. She also has her own line of clothing for girls and boys that aims to be non-gender stereotyped. It's nice to know that when I have kids there are resources like this out there.

Through the Lego Friends debate, I found one of my all-time favorite sites. Feminist Frequency really opened my eyes to how women are portrayed in the media and how important media literacy is. Anita's vlogs are wonderful and have changed the way I watch TV and movies forever. She's currently in the process of doing a vlog series on women in video games and has been the target of a great deal of sexist, misogynist and downright disgusting online harassment.

Running parallel to my interest in gender studies has been a growing interest in Judaism. I come from a 100% Catholic family and have been researching Judaism seriously for about 6 months now and considering conversion. Things have really started to get interesting when my two interests intersected. I read a book called Reading Ruth: Contemporary Women Reclaim a Sacred Story - where Jewish women study the text using traditional methods of Jewish study that used to only be done by men. In this way, I'm getting a female (and often feminist) perspective on a Jewish biblical story about two women. Because I loved this book so much, I recently started reading Women's Torah Commentary: New Insights from Women Rabbi's on the 54 Torah Portions. This is my first real foray into complete Torah study and I'm thrilled to have found a book written from a female perspective. All of these women are rabbis, a profession relatively new to women in the Reform, Reconstructionist and Conservative Jewish community (Orthodox Jewish women are still not allowed to be rabbis).

After reading Men and Feminism in my Women's Studies class, I found The Good Men Project. This is more of a "thrift store" blog - you sometimes have to sift through some lame articles for a while to find a really good one. It's been really interesting to learn more about what men are doing with contemporary gender studies - how many men are interested in breaking down gender and sexuality barriers. I particularly enjoy reading posts from "daddy bloggers" on their experience parenting.

So there are my top picks from my recent foray into gender studies since graduation. Also, if you want to feel feminist without requiring too much brain power one night - watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer! You can watch it on Hulu or Netflix, but I will warn you that it's seriously addictive and you might have to subscribe to watch all 7 seasons! Josh Whedon really knows how to write complex, interesting, strong female characters (and good male ones too!) and the series finale is EPIC and has some truly amazing girl power.

I'm always on the lookout for more books, blogs, vlogs, documentaries and TV shows so if anyone is reading this blog, let me know your top picks!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Depression Part 2: Pushing Through

Dysthymia - a mood disorder consisting of chronic depression, with less severe but longer lasting symptoms than major depressive disorder. As dysthymia is a chronic disorder, sufferers may experience symptoms for many years before it is diagnosed, if diagnosis occurs at all. As a result, they may believe that depression is a part of their character, so they may not even discuss their symptoms with doctors, family members, or friends.


I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, but I have been in my body for the past 23 1/2 years and I'm pretty sure I've had dysthymia for the last 11 or so of those years. The last two sentences in the above definition ring most true for me. For a really long time I just thought I wasn't a positive person. I wasn't an energetic person. That was just me, who I was, who I'd always be. I would have good days/weeks/months but the "meh" feeling was pervasive throughout my teens and beyond. 


One of my main symptoms has been fatigue. In high school I was a huge perfectionist so I often pushed past the fatigue just to do what I had to do. But in retrospect, what normal 18 year old goes to bed every night at 9:30? When I got to college, I realized that no matter how hard I pushed myself I would never feel like I was doing well enough, so I pushed less and less. By senior year it was tough to get myself to go to classes, even though I was on medication and wasn't feeling particularly horrible.


Now I have jobs, which changes the game a lot. If I don't work, I don't get paid (for the most part). So I push myself for work and often forgo everything else. I haven't kept in touch with friends or made new ones the way I had hoped I would. This creates a cycle where I'm lonely, so I'm bummed out, so I don't make an effort, so I'm lonely - rinse and repeat several times a month.


I had the easiest time making friends in college that I've ever had in my life. Now I feel like I'm spoiled. I'm like a desperate single woman (pardon the sexist metaphor) looking for "Mr. Right" but being super picky. I want someone who I instantly *click* with and I want it right now, damnit.


My roommate and I have been talking quite a lot about "pushing past the tiredness" - which in my case also includes pushing past the depression. Doing things - both with people and by myself - that I may not feel like doing immediately but end up being worth it afterwards.


This afternoon, after a full workday, I sat outside in my backyard working on voice stuff, spent some quality time with the BF, went for a drink and dinner with my roommate and took a scooter ride with the BF. Oh, and wrote this riveting blog, haha. And you know what? I feel good. Still tired, but in a satisfied way. This is sort of a novel feeling for me, but maybe its the way people without dysthmia feel after most days. And that's something I could definitely get used to.



Saturday, June 16, 2012

Depression: The Insider's Stigma

So I had this whole post planned on gender-roles/stereotypes in my relationship and blah, blah and it was partially typed and I never finished it because, honestly, I just don't care about that right now. And since this blog is turning more therapeutic than political, here's what I do care about right now:

Here's the thing. I've had low grade depression (aka dysthymia) for probably the last 11 years. It's only been diagnosed and treated with medication and semi-regular therapy for the past 2.

I talk a really good game about acceptance of mental illness, supporting people getting help, etc. I tell people about it, and about the eating disorder I had in HS that I feel was a symptom of it. I want to go into Music Therapy to help people through mental illnesses (among other things). I like to look at my past through rose colored glasses and say that the things I went through in HS and college made me who I am today and that's a good thing. Depression was a learning experience. I rail against stigmas against mental illnesses.

But the real truth is, when I look at my own depression, I mirror all the "ridiculous stigmas" right back to myself. I don't really have depression, I'm just weak. I shouldn't need a pill to be able to deal with my life - what's so difficult about it? I don't want outside chemicals controlling my body. When I'm on ADs I feel fine, so do I really need it? I'll talk about my depression to friends or people my own age, but no one in my extended family has a clue because I don't want them to think I'm weak or crazy.

Guess what though - I'm realizing that's not my voice. That's my dad's voice. He thinks mental illnesses are BS. Nonexistent, fake problems. Furthermore, he thinks doctors and medicine is a waste of time. Sound familiar?

No one who has been close to me for 5 years or more will argue that I'm not a different person than I was before medication, not even my dad. I know without a doubt that I'm a different person on medication. After being on ADs for about 6 months I looked back at pictures of myself as a little kid and could finally feel and remember what it actually felt like to be that happy, carefree, pre-puberty person.

I love the days and lately weeks where I don't have to think about my depression. It's so easy to forget about it - forget what it feels like to be sinking into an emotional hole that you can't see the way out of. It's deceptively easy to start to think maybe it was all a bad dream. Maybe you don't have depression, not really. You were just having a hard year (or 10). Things are better now and so you don't need therapy. Maybe you only need half your medication every day. Maybe you don't need any!

I do this every few months, and it always has the same results. I know it's exhausting for the few people who are close to me and honestly, I'm exhausting myself too. It's tiring to convince yourself of something you know really isn't true and then try to mentally backtrack when you start to slowly fall apart again. This time I'll call the doctor. I'll remember my medicine every day. I'll refill my prescription on time. I'll find a new therapist or go back to therapy. I promise. And so I'll do one or two semi-positive things and vow to do more "tomorrow", which will improve my mood, which will start the cycle all over again. This time I went to a new city in a new state, thinking I could outrun my depression. But now I'm just here with a lot more stress and a very small support system, none of them professionally trained to give me advice or medication.

Here's the truth, in black and white on my computer screen. Typed by my own hands:
 I have depression. I might have depression for the rest of my life. If I forget about it it will creep back up again. It always does. I don't like it. I don't like accepting it, or accepting that it's probably going to be a part of me for the rest of my life. 
My depression sucks, end of story. It's not some magical faraway looking glass that makes me more empathetic. It's not some glamorous political statement of how the media or families or life in general can screw someone up. It's a big, dark hole that I'm always standing on the edge of. It's soul-crushing exhaustion, lethargy, apathy. It's complete lack of faith that I have anything worthwhile to offer the world, that I just mess things up or am someone people have to "deal with."

I have a list of doctors I can call in the area who accept my insurance and can give me a new prescription and a referral to a therapist. My depression wants me to feel proud that I set up a list but then leave things like that, not make the calls, not do the real legwork. It wants me to hide behind being scared, being embarrassed, denying my illness, not wanting "pills to control my body." Because my depression wants to control my body, my mind, my life. I'm really hoping that this time I have the strength to stand up to it and do what I have to do to be healthy.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I'm bringing back this blog as sort of a tool of my own personal growth. If anyone cares to read and follow or offer support or advice, that rocks too! Here's an example of the free writing (typing) I've been doing lately. Names aren't included (just initials) to protect my and their privacy.


I'm really trying to focus on improving my life, building my life here in MA. This means I need to figure out what I want from my life and how I want it. I have a really promising 2nd interview on Tuesday night with a job that I think will be fantastic for me. I would be able to build a music curriculum with K through 3rd students and possibly become a founding member of a growing charter school. Would this change my grad school plans? Maybe, maybe not. I'm open to the possibility of staying in this job for more than a year if I really love it and see growth.
I need more socialization in my life. I spend a lot of time with BF and I love that but I need girl time badly. B works a lot and often strange hours, and she often spends time with A (her BF) whenever she can. Friday dinners have helped and they're a great thing to look forward to each week - especially since B usually has Friday off or opens. But I need more than that. I need girl friends to chat with about things that I'm interested in - gender, feminism, psychology, music therapy, media literacy. I need to get off my ass and go to these feminist meetup group events and stop being such a chicken. I need to make connecting with my long-distance friends (like S, K, L, M) way more of a priority. I need to keep trying to make new friends here, even though that's really scary for me.
I love it here but I need to make this more of my home. Right now it's a place where I live (I love my apartment 90% of the time), spend time with some people (C and the roomies) and work. But that's not enough. I know it took a while for Ithaca to become my home and most of that was the people. I can immediately feel at home in a place if I have even a few people I care about. I know that this can be a fabulous home for me.
Blogging and journaling will, I hope, get me thinking more and give those thoughts some more substance. Right now I'm setting a goal to write weekly about whatever I want - just freewriting.There are so many new, exciting, interesting things going on in my life and in my mind right now.

Some possible topics are:
My apartment - this place has real character. We have an adorable old Armenian couple as upstairs neighbors, a tacky but sort of charming mural on our dining room wall, a few dying plants and constant home improvement projects always in the works thanks to my roommate who has found a new hobby in amateur carpentry.
My jobs - The fact that I have a nutty schedule, interact with some really interesting people every day and work with kids could probably be a blog in itself if I wanted to. These kids crack me up, tug on my heartstrings and test my patience daily. As much as I complain sometimes, I couldn't ask for better "starter jobs" after my graduation in December.
My relationship - C and I have been together now for 1 year and 7 months and our relationship is always interesting. We're dealing with this really interesting "post honeymoon" phase where we're learning a ton about each other, our communication and how we work as a couple.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Obamacare: Friend or Foe?

My wonderful boyfriend (Happy 9 months yesterday by the way! Even though we're 5 hours apart and I was super sick and gross all day!) sent me a text saying that by August 1st of next year all birth control would be free, with no copay. This also includes:



  • women's well visits (which I'm assuming is the PC way of describing the horror that is the gynocologist's office)
  • HPV and other STD screenings
  • breast pump rentals
  • domestic violence screenings
  • testing for gestational diabetes
  • the morning after pill (*inserts gasps of horror here*)
So, I for one think this is fabulous. Right now I'm paying $15 a month for birth control. Which, no is not breaking the bank, but come on. I'm a student making $8 an hour hosting and bussing tables at a restaurant and trying to save money so that I don't have to live on Ramen when I graduate in December and have to find a job in this GLORIOUS economy...

But, alas, the Right Wing is PISSED. It's like they have a whole bunch of ridiculous scare tactic metaphors that they just wait to use on FOXNews. Here are some fun ones I found by this woman Sandy Rios who I'm now happily Googling:

Why in the world would you encourage your daughters, and your granddaughters, and whoever else comes behind you to have unrestricted, unlimited sex anytime …”

Why does needing birth control = being a big slutty slut? If you have ONE sex partner for your WHOLE LIFE there's still a huge risk in getting pregnant. Someone needs to give Sandy a "birds and the bees" talk again. I don't think she got it the first time. Also, there are many MARRIED people who use birth control. You know, because everybody can't be super cool like the Duggars... And people who don't have sex use birth control too for acne, cramps, etc.

Yes, I am well aware that some people are flaming morons who are unaware of the whole concept of "you probably shouldn't have a baby when you have no money." But, call me Suzy Sunshine, I really think that most people are trying to do the best they can. 

She also said, in this same clip, “In Red China, they have this down to a science. The local health care centers make women come in every month to be examined to see if they’ve had their cycle to make sure they are taking their medication and if they have a baby they are roundly punished, if they have an extra baby that baby is aborted. That is the control we’re moving toward.”

Who said who to what now? So, let me try to get this straight. YOU as a Right Wing, anti-abortion woman, think that it's your right to tell people they shouldn't be having sex and you don't want to pay for any of it, BUT making birth control free is the same as FORCED ABORTION? Just because something is free doesn't mean you're forcing the person to take it... I wish politicians would stop comparing apples to oranges.

"We’re $14 trillion in debt and now we’re going to cover birth control, breast pumps, counseling for abuse? Are we going to do pedicures and manicures as well?

Honestly, this woman makes me sick. She's comparing DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELING to a PEDICURE?!? Are you kidding? Helping someone get out of an abusive relationship and a beauty treatment? I hope someone shoves that comment down her throat if someone she cares about gets raped or abused. I can't even say anything intelligent about this because it's just ridiculous. 

I think if you're trying to get someone to agree with you you probably shouldn't say things that are extremely, horribly offensive to 90% of the population. But...maybe that's just me.

Oh, and just one more from my mother's favorite, Bill O'Rielly. "Most women who get pregnant are blasted out of their minds when they have sex. They're not going to use birth control anyway."

Well, Bill, all I have to say to this is: The only way any woman would have sex with YOU after that is if they were blasted out of their minds. Because you're an asshole :)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Random Vent.

You thought you'd gotten rid of me didn't you? Here's what I want to know:

WHY IS MY PRESCRIPTION OF BIRTH CONTROL PILLS $15 A PACK?!? I mean...I'd much rather pay $45 for 3 months than say...pay to raise a kid on the $8 an hour I currently make, but still. Come on! Apparently, the GENERIC form of BC I'm currently on is $73.08. I have health insurance, which pays for exactly $28.08 of it.

I've been looking into the NuvaRing for a while now because I've been having some nausea symptoms (which, *knock on wood* haven't been bad for a few weeks). So, I decided to call my health insurance provider! Until I graduate, I'm covered with my parents' policy, Horizon Blue Cross  After listening to some truly horrible hold music, talking to an animated voice and being transfered a couple times, I found out that if I go to the pharmacy and get a 3 month supply, my copay would be....

*drum roll please*

$120!
EFF THAT!!! I'm sorry, that's absolutely ridiculous. I'll stick with the pill. It may make me nauseous sometimes, but the idea of paying $40 a MONTH to protect myself WITH insurance is out of control.

It really makes me wonder why birth control is so expensive. Is it really that complicated to develop/produce/package that I have to pay that much a month for it? I really believe that making it financially and logistically difficult for women to have control over our bodies is something we should be more outraged about.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

"Wrap Up"

I hope to continue this blog after Women's Studies, but this is my last entry as an official member of the class. I've learned a great deal in this class - both about women's studies in general (history, issues, schools of thought, etc) and about my own personal beliefs.

There have been some really positive things that helped me with my personal growth. I am taking an Intro to Developmental Psychology class, which meets right before Women's Studies. I have been able to look at things in Women's Studies from a developmental perspective and developmental psychology from a women's studies perspective. I also have some fantastic, intelligent, opinionated friends and a wonderful boyfriend who I've been able to bounce ideas off of and get alternative perspectives. I've really tried to keep my mind as open as possible during this class - to not necessarily just recycle all my old ideas but to really think about my own opinions, beliefs, biases and shortcomings as a woman and human being.

As a senior who will be graduating in December, I have been rather obsessive about trying to figure out what to do after graduation. I will graduate with a degree in music education and vocal performance and I've already passed the Praxis which means that I could theoretically get a teaching job in 25-30 states (hopefully by the time I graduate public schools will still HAVE music programs...*ahem*...another topic for another day...). But do I WANT to spend my life teaching music?

I took Developmental Psychology and Women's Studies to explore some of my passions that I have let lie dormant over the past 3 1/2 years of juries, hearings, performances, recitals and lesson plans. Lately, however, I have started seriously considering going into Music Therapy.

Women's Studies and this blog has helped me figure out some things that I didn't realize I was passionate about. I have always been a feminist, but how do I put that into action? For me, this blog has made me realize how passionate I am about body and sex education. This does NOT just mean "here's how to put the condom on," but rather has many components. Each link is a link back to a post that I wrote about that topic or something similar.

I would like to find a way to:

  • Helping women to learn about their bodies, in both a sexual and non-sexual way through promoting body exploration - once again in a sexual (masturbation) and non-sexual way (creating a "mental image" of your reproductive organs and how they work)
  • Feeling more comfortable and empowered in situations that deal with bodies - for instance, in the gynecologists office or with a sexual partner. Knowing what to expect and how to be assertive with your needs, wants and questions.
  • Knowing all the facts about your reproductive system and your reproductive rights - sexual experiences, the risks and rewards, STD's and non-sex related gynecological issues, rapebirth control (before, during and after), fertility awareness, pregnancy, menopause
  • Feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin. Getting rid of negative body images, stereotypes and expectations. Feeding your body and soul in a way that makes you feel strong, competent, healthy and beautiful and making your own informed choices.
  • Empowering a dialogue. We live in the information age, but I think face-to-face or voice-to-voice is the most powerful way to impart information. Teaching parents to talk to their kids (and vice versa), knowing where to go for information (doctors, Planned Parenthood, therapists, etc.)
For the next leg of my journey, I think I will be researching ways that I can help with these goals, specifically in a way that I can use my passion for music and education. I like to talk and I love to make music and I think that I can "be the change I wish to see in the world" through these in the future.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Abortion FACTS

After watching "12th and Maine" today and seeing all of the pamphlets given out by the pro-life clinic, I wanted to know the real facts. People tend to talk about abortion in very abstract terms, especially pro-choicers. We are more invested in the circumstances surrounding the abortion, the reasons women may need to have abortions, etc., because our argument is CHOICE. So here are some facts about what actually happens if someone makes this difficult choice.

First of all, as someone who is pro-choice, I do NOT believe in abortion as a birth control method. I think that as a choice, abortion should be a last resort and people need to be as proactive as possible about their sexual health. Although I ranted about different contraception methods in one of my other posts, they are very effective when used correctly and using contraception is the responsible thing to do.

Also, if you've had unprotected sex recently (i.e. within the last 5 days), there are other options. The "morning after pill,"(technically, emergency contraception) which is sort of like a "super pill," lots of hormones to stop implantation. Also, if it's been less than 5 days since you had unprotected sex you can also have an emergency IUD implanted, which also can prevent implantation. Many people still consider this abortion, but it is much less invasive and hey, you can't make everyone happy.


  • Medical Abortion - also known as chemical abortion, is the use of certain medicines, usually taken in several steps over a period of 2 weeks to terminate a pregnancy. The medications soften the cervix, stop the growth of the placenta and/or encourage contractions. Medical abortion can only be done during the first 9 weeks of pregnancy, causes moderate to heavy bleeding (similar, I'm assuming, as if you had a natural miscarriage) and has a slightly higher risk of infection (1 in 100,000 can lead to death). It also usually requires a few visits and a medical followup.


Surgical Abortion - There are 3 kinds. *WARNING* -- sort of graphic. However, I got them from WebMD, so they are factual.

  • Manual Vacuum Aspiration - uses a tube attached to a syringe to draw the fetus out of the uterus. It can be used from 5 to 12 weeks after the last menstrual period.
  • Machine Vacuum Aspiration - uses a tube attached to an electric pump to draw the fetus out of the uterus as the above. It can be used during the same time period (5 to 12 weeks after last period).
  • D&E - uses a combination of vaccum aspiration, forceps and dilation and cutterage (D&C is what you get when you have a miscarriage after 12 weeks, btw, because you can get a severe infection otherwise).  It can be used from 12 to 24 weeks, requires one visit and usually a sedative and local anesthesia. It has less of a risk of infection and is 99% effective.


There are complications with these procedure, as with any.

  • Normal symptoms include irregular bleeding (for up to 3 weeks), cramping (for up to 2 weeks) and what they call an "emotional reaction," (which can include sadness, anger, guilt, regret, relief, or a range of depression symptoms. The website warns that prolonged symptoms of depression need to be talked about with a professional). 
  • Also, they warn about heavy bleeding, clotting, severe pelvic pain, fever etc. because these can be signs of complications. However, less than 1% of patients experience serious complications afterwards.


I believe that anyone who is sexually active should have the facts, for if they ever need to make this difficult choice. They need to have as much information as possible about contraception and methods of pregnancy termination. For instance, WebMD recommends sexually active women to have emergency contraception or a prescription for it on hand at all times.

So many of the young women who went to the "Pregnancy Health Clinic" seemed to have no idea about abortion (or birth control for that matter...I hate to judge, but I wanted to give the girl who was having her 2nd abortion in a year a pack of Trojans and a prescription for the Pill...) and got all kinds of wrong or exaggerated information from the women at the clinic.

They also got lied to about how far along they were in their pregnancy. Knowing about their bodies and menstrual cycles would be helpful here. I think that the best way to prevent all this headache and heartache is prevention. Access to and information about sex, contraception, abortion and reproductive health is the best way for people to make informed sexual choices, whether or not they are choices other people necessarily agree with.


P.S. I got all my information for this blog post from here and the links below.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Impostor Alert!

My best friend and I are your classic girl duo - both feminist, both perfectionists, both hard working, both (unfortunately) suffering from our own personal demons at times, both with lots of goals and lots to talk about on those rare occasions we can talk on the phone or see each other (she goes to school in Virginia, we usually consider ourselves lucky if we can see each other three times in one year).

Our conversations are never dull. One topic, I've been meaning to write about for months. It's called Impostor Syndrome.

According to this article, people with Impostor Syndrome are "unable to internalize their accomplishments." They often shrug away success as dumb luck, good timing, work, personality OR immediately start thinking of the task ahead instead of enjoying or congratulating themselves for their success. They constantly feel that those around them are smarter, better, more able then them and that they will eventually get "found out" as a fraud.

Say you got an A on a midterm in a difficult class. Instead of being excited about it, you think, "Well, I only got this grade because I studied so much, not because I'm actually good at the subject," "Well, the test wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. If it had been on all the information I'd never have done as well," "Well so-and-so got an A on this test and didn't even have to study. He/she is so much smarter than I am," or "Well it's a good thing I did well on this test, because I'm definitely going to fail the midterm...and this is a sequential class, so I have no idea how I'm going to do next semester...maybe this degree is too difficult for me."

I know SO many women who suffer from different severities of impostor syndrome. Going to college for music is a breeding ground for all kinds of perfectionist insecurities. Everyone is always trying to be a little bit better, do a little bit more, work a little bit harder. As a vocalist you should be in choir...and do the opera...and opera workshop...and a summer program in Italy...and sing in masterclasses...etc, etc.

My best friend is a classic example. She's a math major and double minor in art history and the Classics at a competitive college. She has a 4.0 GPA, 3 part time jobs, is involved in a service fraternity and heads multiple clubs, runs marathons...and still feels like she's never good enough!

On a positive note, impostor syndrome often makes women compete harder for their goals. It's what made me audition 4 times for the performance degree when I could have easily gotten a music education degree and not have gone through all the headache of the past 4 years. It's what makes another friend of mine stay up late making sure she has the perfect lesson plans for student teaching.

Impostor syndrome is perfectionism on steroids. Perfectionism is saying, "I need to be perfect." while impostor syndrome is, "I need to be perfect to hide the fact that I'm actually a failure." Impostor syndrome can be at the root of all kinds of mental health issues - depression/anxiety and eating disorders especially. The funny thing is that when you have depression, it's even more difficult to be wonder woman...

I only wish that we could get off the treadmill of our culture-on-overdrive. Stop talking to ourselves in a nastier voice than we would EVER let anyone else speak to us. Stop looking into the future and trying to be thinner, smarter, better, richer, more popular, more successful and actually start ENJOYING the lives we have RIGHT NOW.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Birth Control

Maybe it's just because I've been feeling like complete crap emotionally since Saturday, but I've been extremely frustrated about the current state of birth control. Let me know if you think I'm being ridiculous - my patience threshold is at an all-time low.

Let me start by saying I'm really happy that women have all these different forms of birth control to help them prevent pregnancy. We live in an age where pregnancy is not an all-consuming fear about having sex like it was even 50 or 60 years ago. Honestly, if it weren't for barrier and hormonal methods of contraception, I probably wouldn't be having sex right now. I don't want to see ANY strollers in my immediate (i.e. AT LEAST 5 years) future.

However, here's my dilemma. All methods of contraception seem to have some major downsides. Condoms can be a little bit of a hassle "in the moment," you need to store them correctly (not in your wallet like you see in the movies) and they can break. Hormonal methods (The Pill, the patch, the ring, the shot, IUD's) have 99% effectiveness if they're used correctly, which is awesome. But each have their own set of downsides.

1. All these hormonal methods are completely dependent on the woman. Men have absolutely no part in preventing pregnancy. This can be a good thing if you don't have a steady partner at the moment and don't want to rely on someone else's judgement, but it's not really fair. It perpetrates the idea that pregnancy is "the girl's problem." Uhm...hello! It takes 2 people to get someone pregnant!

2. All of these methods involve putting synthetic hormones in your body to essentially stop its natural cycle. I'm not coming at this from a religious or moral standpoint, but it makes me uncomfortable to be on the pill and have my body essentially being controlled by medication. Then again, I don't like to take Advil if I don't absolutely have to...so maybe I'm crazy.

3. All of these hormonal methods have to be very strictly followed. You have to take your Pill at the exact same time every day, or change your ring or patch at the same time every week/month. If you don't you're at risk of ovulating and blowing the whole thing.

4. The Patch is not invasive, but because of that, it has 60% more hormones in it than a normal low-dose pill (and for the record, "low dose" is labeled at 30 mcg. per day, when there are actually pills out there that are only 20 mcg per day - so that's double!). That amount of synthetic hormones in me just makes me uncomfortable and has a great deal more possible side effects.

5. For the NuvaRing , it's just sort of sitting there, hanging out inside your vagina. I've never tried it but I'd really like to hear feedback - Can you really not feel it during sex? It just weirds me out. Again, I'm probably being a big baby.

6. Other methods that are not time sensitive are very invasive. Depo Provera (the shot) is an injection every 3 months (some people don't mind needles but I have yet to meet someone that truly enjoys them). And IUD  sits in your uterus -it is painful to have put in and has a risk of falling out, which is extremely painful. Implanon is a rod that is implanted in your arm for 3 years. None of theses things are horrible torture devices by any means, but they all just seem very invasive to me.

So, I ask you, if you're comfortable answering:

  • What form of contraception do you use? 
  • Do you have any qualms with what you use or are you really happy with it?
  •  Do you ever have scares or have to use backup methods? 
  • Have you tried methods that haven't worked well for you?
  • Guys, if there was a birth control for men, would you take it?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

What Makes a Slut?

Damn you, Women's Studies! I come out of that class and just want to research feminist theory all day instead of doing the other 49 million things on my to-do list! Maybe I'm just a nerd...haha.

Anyway, we started class today talking about work - what is valued, what is acceptable, how are certain people treated in jobs, etc. Not surprisingly, the topic quickly turned to sex. Teachers having sexual relationships with their students, prostitutes, strippers and porn stars, there was even some talk of sexting (ohh to live in 2011...). 

People used a lot of words. Degrading, sexist, objectification of women etc. But I kept thinking of the classic, colloquial words we use: whore and slut are the most popular today. And I sat there quietly, hungrily listening to peoples points, trying to figure out what I thought of all this. What makes someone a “whore” or a "slut"? Sending someone a sext? Wearing a low cut shirt (whether it's to get a phone number, a one night stand, or a tip while serving or bartending)? Dancing on a pole in a thong? Having sex for money? Having 3 partners...or 10...or 100?

So I thought, what does the dictionary think of this? Well, apparently, alot. Here are some of the things I got back from my search:

Slut: –noun
1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.


Okay…well that’s one of the most vague, subjective definitions I’ve seen in a while. Just to see, I typed in "loose man." Big surprise, I got no results except "Did you mean...ladies man?" Uhh...sure. Here are some synonyms I got for that:

Casanova, Lothario, Prince Charming, Romeo, charmer, heartbreaker, ladies' man, lady-killer, lady-killer, libertine, lover, philanderer, playboy, rake, seducer, skirtchaser, smooth operator, stud, wolf, libertine, womanchaser

First I thought, why the HELL do we get stuck with “tramp” and “hussy” and man get  “charmer” and “seducer?”

Then, I had a light-bulb moment. Even in my Women’s Studies class, where everyone there considers themselves a feminist, women’s sexuality is still looked at as a passive act. Men are considered aggressive, women passive. We “give up” our sexuality, our virtue, our so-called purity, our power. It is 2011, and sex is still not considered an equal act. Our bodies are still not considered ours to do with what we will, but rather objects that we have to protect from abuse.

People kept talking about “objectifying bodies,” but I don’t think it is all about the body. It’s sex, and it’s gender. Sex for women “takes away our power” and “turns us into an object.” But men have sex all the time! Why do men keep their power after engaging in a sexual act but women don’t? Why is men’s power tied up in action and women’s in sexuality. If we “give away” our sexuality, is that all we had to give?

Also, if a woman has had…lets say 10+ sexual partners (depending on her age and the culture she lives in) she gets some side eye. If she has a one-night-stand, or several. We are taught that we should wait until the man in question respects us (through realationship or at times a marriage ceremony) before we “give it away.” But in a one-night stand, does the woman necessarily respect the man?

Why are women not considered human beings who have sexual needs, sexual desires and fantasies, that we have every right to satisfy?

Logically, I know there some pretty good reasons for this. Pregnancy is a biggie. Before birth control, there was no way a woman could have sex and not have a huge chance of getting pregnant. And since they were financially dependant on men, if the men didn’t step up to the plate they were pretty much SOL. Even now, with the pill, the patch, condoms, the ring, etc., there is still the chance of an STD. And there are emotional risks as well. Women literally secrete a chemical that makes us feel closer to the person we’ve slept with afterwards. It’s biological. So I get it.

But it’s 2011. You can protect yourself very well from pregnancy and pretty well from STD’s if you are smart. Wear a condom. Get an HPV shot. Don’t have sex with the guy that apparently gave that girl in your Psych class chlamydia. Don’t send random people naked pictures unless you want yourself all over the internet. Don’t expect to marry the guy you hook up with after you’ve been at Moonies until 1 am. Don’t use sex as a bargaining chip for intimacy.

If a woman is smart and safe about sex, why is there still a stigma? When a woman uses her sexuality, why is it automatically assumed that she has also given away her soul, her power?

Monday, March 21, 2011

Women Working - Take 2

I love when my boyfriend finds subjects for me to write about here! We are often looking at research where women are getting paid less than men (we still earn $0.80 on the dollar that men do), but there are some jobs where women are statistically getting paid more. Some are rather surprising!

  • females working in construction jobs (laborers of supervisors), maintenance painters, aircraft and vehicle mechanics earn more than men even though they only hold 3% of these jobs. This article speculates that women in these jobs are less likely to be associated with negative gender associations.
  • Don't want to fix cars? Female teaching assistants, occupational therapists, dietitians, nutritionists and life, physical, social science and health technicians also make more on average. Perhaps this is because more women go into these jobs and are customers in the first place?
  • I liked this statistic because I occasionally work as a busser at my job (though we get tips from the servers, so this statistic doesn't actually help me much). Women who work as dining room attendants (I'm assuming this is the politically correct term for bussers) and bartender helpers (barbacks, which sadly, in the restaurant I work in, are only guys) make 111% more than men. Also, female food preparation workers and servers earn more as well. Helloooo tips!
  • Bakers - this article speculated that it might have to do with the flexibility of women to work odd hours.
This was interesting information, however most of these jobs are lower level, where the income potential isn't great anyway, even if women are making more. I'd rather have a job with a pension plan and health insurance than making 111% more as a waitress any day of the week.

Also, not to be the complete Debbie-Downer, but are women getting more work in some these positions (specifically in the restaurant business etc.) because of negative sexual gender stereotypes? Female servers, bartenders, etc. are trained and know to dress and sometimes act a certain way (suggestively) in order to get more tips. 

Samantha Jones, in Sex and the City, says "Women are allowed to use every possible advantage to get to the top." But what advantages are actually sexual exploitation? Are these long term successes for women or short-lived victories that are going to blow up in our pretty little faces?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Posture and Power

Last week I went to Chicago for the American Choral Directors Association (ACDA) National Convention. Every 2 years, ACDA has a national convention (two years ago it was in Oklahoma). One of the events at this convention is the Conducting Competition. There's an undergraduate and graduate division and for each category, 7 or 8 conductors are picked out of about 75 each. In the undergrad category there were 2 girls out of 7, and in the grad category there were 4 out of 8. Doesn't sound horrible, right?

So there I am. sitting in 4 hours of this conducting competition... And somehow, only 1 girl went on in each category and neither of them won 1st prize (they both won second, I felt like this was some kind of consolation prize...but maybe I'm just being paranoid. I kept thinking about why, in a convention made up mostly of women, there were no women who won?

Conducting is all about leadership. I started thinking, perhaps the leadership qualities that judges are looking for are typically more "masculine" qualities? Men are naturally taller and have posture and movement that stems from their upper body. Women are naturally shorter (hello...I'm 5'2") and we lead from the hips. Men's voices are deeper and often carry further because of the lower resonances.

Are we- as smart, independent, driven young women- actually sabotaging ourselves with our voices and posture? And what can we do to be taken seriously without sabotaging our true selves.

I started reading articles, like this one, The Eloquent Woman, saying that women shouldn't try to lower their voices to an unhealthy point because it can cause vocal issues like hoarseness, nodes and polyps. That website advocates finding your comfortable speaking voice for optimum power and resonance and gives other tips on "finding your voice," both literally and metaphorically.

I've written about posture a little bit before - in my voice studies I often see that men's posture problems tend to come from stiffness and women's posture problems tend to come from over arching, pulling (such as pushing your neck forward too far) or generally contorting ourselves into strange positions. Are we still holding ourselves like insecure teenagers?

In addition to learning about women's history and gaining the best education they can, perhaps there should be a course available in college on posture, voice and leadership? On looking and sounding confident, healthy and strong when making their way into the fields of their choice, especially in this economy.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Women's History Month - Birth Control

Thank my pro-feminist boyfriend for this entry. I was looking for an idea for a blog and he reminded me that it's women's history month! Happy March! :) With all the hoopla related to Planned Parenthood, I decided to look into the birth control aspect of Women's History.

Apparently, according to this site, condoms (both animal skin and "vulcanized rubber") were around as early as the turn of the 20th century, but they were not widely used because they were associated with sexual promiscuity. The sponge was also an option, but they were sometimes dipped in substances that were actually very dangerous to women- vinegar, lemon, astringents (ah!).

I truly believe that the inventors of oral contraceptives deserve a Nobel Peace Prize. I learned that Margaret Sanger, a women's rights advocate, underwrote the research necessary to create the first women's contraceptive and raised $150,000 for the project, after it was learned that hormones prevented ovulation in rabbits. Frank Colton invented the first oral contraceptive, Enovid, which was marketed in 1960. I'd give him a huge hug if he hadn't died in 2003!

Thank god for these people. I actually think a lot about how the entire act of sex has been changed thanks to reliable birth control. As an unmarried, sexually active 22 year old, I know that I wouldn't be able to live my life in the same way 50+ years ago. It is truly incredible that I can have sex without undergoing dangerous, unreliable forms of birth control or having dangerous abortions as preventative birth control.

When I think about Planned Parenthood, I get very conflicted. The evidence I've been reading against them isn't great - especially the fact that they're making millions of dollars in profit even though they are technically a non-profit. But the idea of people without health insurance being unable to get cheap/free birth control, STD testing and gynecological exams really sickens me. Stopping unwanted pregnancies is one of the most fool-proof ways to stop poverty in this country.

I agree with bell hooks on this point 100% - you can decide for yourself that you won't have an abortion, but to be a feminist you need to believe in legalized abortions. Period.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Women and Witches

I've been watching the movie Stardust and thinking of one of the biggest sexism fables of all time - the witch.
In this particular movie, Michele Pffeiffer's character is a witch who is trying to kill Clare Danes (a star) and eat her heart out so that she can gain back eternal life. What struck me was that she starts out eating the last another star's  heart so that she can gain back her youth and beauty, but she loses it each time she casts a spell, getting older and uglier. True, this character is portrayed as evil, however, it really irritated me that as a woman, she is unable to be both powerful and beautiful at the same time.

This movie is not the only one I've seen where this is the idea. The Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz (who people hate and fear, unlike the pretty Good Witch who doesn't really do much besides fly around in a pink bubble), the witch in Into the Woods (as soon as she gets her beauty back at the end of Act 1 she loses her powers), the witch in the new Disney movie Rapunzel (who can only be beautiful with the aid of the magic of Rapunzel's magic hair).

Why, even in Disney movies being marketed to young girls who we'd like to be strong and independent,  are women still showing women as either powerful, ugly, antagonistic hags or sweet, pretty, childish (for the most part) girls? Why are we still feeding into the princess thing in 2010?

In one of the last songs in Into the Woods, The Witch sings "I'm not good, I'm not bad, I'm just right." As women, maybe that's what we should aspire to be. Just ourselves, whatever we want to be. Because, contrary to what mass media wants us to believe, we can have both - we can be powerful, and that's beautiful.