Obamacare: Friend or Foe?

My wonderful boyfriend (Happy 9 months yesterday by the way! Even though we're 5 hours apart and I was super sick and gross all day!) sent me a text saying that by August 1st of next year all birth control would be free, with no copay. This also includes:

• women's well visits (which I'm assuming is the PC way of describing the horror that is the gynocologist's office)
• HPV and other STD screenings
• breast pump rentals
• domestic violence screenings
• testing for gestational diabetes
• the morning after pill (*inserts gasps of horror here*)

So, I for one think this is fabulous. Right now I'm paying $15 a month for birth control. Which, no is not breaking the bank, but come on. I'm a student making $8 an hour hosting and bussing tables at a restaurant and trying to save money so that I don't have to live on Ramen when I graduate in December and have to find a job in this GLORIOUS economy...

But, alas, the Right Wing is PISSED. It's like they have a whole bunch of ridiculous scare tactic metaphors that they just wait to use on FOXNews. Here are some fun ones I found by this woman Sandy Rios who I'm now happily Googling:

“Why in the world would you encourage your daughters, and your granddaughters, and whoever else comes behind you to have unrestricted, unlimited sex anytime …”

Why does needing birth control = being a big slutty slut? If you have ONE sex partner for your WHOLE LIFE there's still a huge risk in getting pregnant. Someone needs to give Sandy a "birds and the bees" talk again. I don't think she got it the first time. Also, there are many MARRIED people who use birth control. You know, because everybody can't be super cool like the Duggars... And people who don't have sex use birth control too for acne, cramps, etc.

Yes, I am well aware that some people are flaming morons who are unaware of the whole concept of "you probably shouldn't have a baby when you have no money." But, call me Suzy Sunshine, I really think that most people are trying to do the best they can. 

She also said, in this same clip, “In Red China, they have this down to a science. The local health care centers make women come in every month to be examined to see if they’ve had their cycle to make sure they are taking their medication and if they have a baby they are roundly punished, if they have an extra baby that baby is aborted. That is the control we’re moving toward.”

Who said who to what now? So, let me try to get this straight. YOU as a Right Wing, anti-abortion woman, think that it's your right to tell people they shouldn't be having sex and you don't want to pay for any of it, BUT making birth control free is the same as FORCED ABORTION? Just because something is free doesn't mean you're forcing the person to take it... I wish politicians would stop comparing apples to oranges.

"We’re $14 trillion in debt and now we’re going to cover birth control, breast pumps, counseling for abuse? Are we going to do pedicures and manicures as well?”

Honestly, this woman makes me sick. She's comparing DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELING to a PEDICURE?!? Are you kidding? Helping someone get out of an abusive relationship and a beauty treatment? I hope someone shoves that comment down her throat if someone she cares about gets raped or abused. I can't even say anything intelligent about this because it's just ridiculous. 

I think if you're trying to get someone to agree with you you probably shouldn't say things that are extremely, horribly offensive to 90% of the population. But...maybe that's just me.

Oh, and just one more from my mother's favorite, Bill O'Rielly. "Most women who get pregnant are blasted out of their minds when they have sex. They're not going to use birth control anyway."

Well, Bill, all I have to say to this is: The only way any woman would have sex with YOU after that is if they were blasted out of their minds. Because you're an asshole :)

Random Vent.

You thought you'd gotten rid of me didn't you? Here's what I want to know:

WHY IS MY PRESCRIPTION OF BIRTH CONTROL PILLS $15 A PACK?!? I mean...I'd much rather pay $45 for 3 months than say...pay to raise a kid on the $8 an hour I currently make, but still. Come on! Apparently, the GENERIC form of BC I'm currently on is $73.08. I have health insurance, which pays for exactly $28.08 of it.

I've been looking into the NuvaRing for a while now because I've been having some nausea symptoms (which, *knock on wood* haven't been bad for a few weeks). So, I decided to call my health insurance provider! Until I graduate, I'm covered with my parents' policy, Horizon Blue Cross  After listening to some truly horrible hold music, talking to an animated voice and being transfered a couple times, I found out that if I go to the pharmacy and get a 3 month supply, my copay would be....

*drum roll please*

$120!
EFF THAT!!! I'm sorry, that's absolutely ridiculous. I'll stick with the pill. It may make me nauseous sometimes, but the idea of paying $40 a MONTH to protect myself WITH insurance is out of control.

It really makes me wonder why birth control is so expensive. Is it really that complicated to develop/produce/package that I have to pay that much a month for it? I really believe that making it financially and logistically difficult for women to have control over our bodies is something we should be more outraged about.

"Wrap Up"

I hope to continue this blog after Women's Studies, but this is my last entry as an official member of the class. I've learned a great deal in this class - both about women's studies in general (history, issues, schools of thought, etc) and about my own personal beliefs.

There have been some really positive things that helped me with my personal growth. I am taking an Intro to Developmental Psychology class, which meets right before Women's Studies. I have been able to look at things in Women's Studies from a developmental perspective and developmental psychology from a women's studies perspective. I also have some fantastic, intelligent, opinionated friends and a wonderful boyfriend who I've been able to bounce ideas off of and get alternative perspectives. I've really tried to keep my mind as open as possible during this class - to not necessarily just recycle all my old ideas but to really think about my own opinions, beliefs, biases and shortcomings as a woman and human being.

As a senior who will be graduating in December, I have been rather obsessive about trying to figure out what to do after graduation. I will graduate with a degree in music education and vocal performance and I've already passed the Praxis which means that I could theoretically get a teaching job in 25-30 states (hopefully by the time I graduate public schools will still HAVE music programs...*ahem*...another topic for another day...). But do I WANT to spend my life teaching music?

I took Developmental Psychology and Women's Studies to explore some of my passions that I have let lie dormant over the past 3 1/2 years of juries, hearings, performances, recitals and lesson plans. Lately, however, I have started seriously considering going into Music Therapy.

Women's Studies and this blog has helped me figure out some things that I didn't realize I was passionate about. I have always been a feminist, but how do I put that into action? For me, this blog has made me realize how passionate I am about body and sex education. This does NOT just mean "here's how to put the condom on," but rather has many components. Each link is a link back to a post that I wrote about that topic or something similar.

I would like to find a way to:

• Helping women to learn about their bodies, in both a sexual and non-sexual way through promoting body exploration - once again in a sexual (masturbation) and non-sexual way (creating a "mental image" of your reproductive organs and how they work)
• Feeling more comfortable and empowered in situations that deal with bodies - for instance, in the gynecologists office or with a sexual partner. Knowing what to expect and how to be assertive with your needs, wants and questions.
• Knowing all the facts about your reproductive system and your reproductive rights - sexual experiences, the risks and rewards, STD's and non-sex related gynecological issues, rape, birth control (before, during and after), fertility awareness, pregnancy, menopause
• Feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin. Getting rid of negative body images, stereotypes and expectations. Feeding your body and soul in a way that makes you feel strong, competent, healthy and beautiful and making your own informed choices.
• Empowering a dialogue. We live in the information age, but I think face-to-face or voice-to-voice is the most powerful way to impart information. Teaching parents to talk to their kids (and vice versa), knowing where to go for information (doctors, Planned Parenthood, therapists, etc.)

For the next leg of my journey, I think I will be researching ways that I can help with these goals, specifically in a way that I can use my passion for music and education. I like to talk and I love to make music and I think that I can "be the change I wish to see in the world" through these in the future.

Abortion FACTS

After watching "12th and Maine" today and seeing all of the pamphlets given out by the pro-life clinic, I wanted to know the real facts. People tend to talk about abortion in very abstract terms, especially pro-choicers. We are more invested in the circumstances surrounding the abortion, the reasons women may need to have abortions, etc., because our argument is CHOICE. So here are some facts about what actually happens if someone makes this difficult choice.

First of all, as someone who is pro-choice, I do NOT believe in abortion as a birth control method. I think that as a choice, abortion should be a last resort and people need to be as proactive as possible about their sexual health. Although I ranted about different contraception methods in one of my other posts, they are very effective when used correctly and using contraception is the responsible thing to do.

Also, if you've had unprotected sex recently (i.e. within the last 5 days), there are other options. The "morning after pill,"(technically, emergency contraception) which is sort of like a "super pill," lots of hormones to stop implantation. Also, if it's been less than 5 days since you had unprotected sex you can also have an emergency IUD implanted, which also can prevent implantation. Many people still consider this abortion, but it is much less invasive and hey, you can't make everyone happy.

• Medical Abortion - also known as chemical abortion, is the use of certain medicines, usually taken in several steps over a period of 2 weeks to terminate a pregnancy. The medications soften the cervix, stop the growth of the placenta and/or encourage contractions. Medical abortion can only be done during the first 9 weeks of pregnancy, causes moderate to heavy bleeding (similar, I'm assuming, as if you had a natural miscarriage) and has a slightly higher risk of infection (1 in 100,000 can lead to death). It also usually requires a few visits and a medical followup.

Surgical Abortion - There are 3 kinds. *WARNING* -- sort of graphic. However, I got them from WebMD, so they are factual.

• Manual Vacuum Aspiration - uses a tube attached to a syringe to draw the fetus out of the uterus. It can be used from 5 to 12 weeks after the last menstrual period.
• Machine Vacuum Aspiration - uses a tube attached to an electric pump to draw the fetus out of the uterus as the above. It can be used during the same time period (5 to 12 weeks after last period).
• D&E - uses a combination of vaccum aspiration, forceps and dilation and cutterage (D&C is what you get when you have a miscarriage after 12 weeks, btw, because you can get a severe infection otherwise).  It can be used from 12 to 24 weeks, requires one visit and usually a sedative and local anesthesia. It has less of a risk of infection and is 99% effective.

There are complications with these procedure, as with any.

• Normal symptoms include irregular bleeding (for up to 3 weeks), cramping (for up to 2 weeks) and what they call an "emotional reaction," (which can include sadness, anger, guilt, regret, relief, or a range of depression symptoms. The website warns that prolonged symptoms of depression need to be talked about with a professional). 
• Also, they warn about heavy bleeding, clotting, severe pelvic pain, fever etc. because these can be signs of complications. However, less than 1% of patients experience serious complications afterwards.

I believe that anyone who is sexually active should have the facts, for if they ever need to make this difficult choice. They need to have as much information as possible about contraception and methods of pregnancy termination. For instance, WebMD recommends sexually active women to have emergency contraception or a prescription for it on hand at all times.

So many of the young women who went to the "Pregnancy Health Clinic" seemed to have no idea about abortion (or birth control for that matter...I hate to judge, but I wanted to give the girl who was having her 2nd abortion in a year a pack of Trojans and a prescription for the Pill...) and got all kinds of wrong or exaggerated information from the women at the clinic.

They also got lied to about how far along they were in their pregnancy. Knowing about their bodies and menstrual cycles would be helpful here. I think that the best way to prevent all this headache and heartache is prevention. Access to and information about sex, contraception, abortion and reproductive health is the best way for people to make informed sexual choices, whether or not they are choices other people necessarily agree with.


P.S. I got all my information for this blog post from here and the links below.

Impostor Alert!

My best friend and I are your classic girl duo - both feminist, both perfectionists, both hard working, both (unfortunately) suffering from our own personal demons at times, both with lots of goals and lots to talk about on those rare occasions we can talk on the phone or see each other (she goes to school in Virginia, we usually consider ourselves lucky if we can see each other three times in one year).

Our conversations are never dull. One topic, I've been meaning to write about for months. It's called Impostor Syndrome.

According to this article, people with Impostor Syndrome are "unable to internalize their accomplishments." They often shrug away success as dumb luck, good timing, work, personality OR immediately start thinking of the task ahead instead of enjoying or congratulating themselves for their success. They constantly feel that those around them are smarter, better, more able then them and that they will eventually get "found out" as a fraud.

Say you got an A on a midterm in a difficult class. Instead of being excited about it, you think, "Well, I only got this grade because I studied so much, not because I'm actually good at the subject," "Well, the test wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. If it had been on all the information I'd never have done as well," "Well so-and-so got an A on this test and didn't even have to study. He/she is so much smarter than I am," or "Well it's a good thing I did well on this test, because I'm definitely going to fail the midterm...and this is a sequential class, so I have no idea how I'm going to do next semester...maybe this degree is too difficult for me."

I know SO many women who suffer from different severities of impostor syndrome. Going to college for music is a breeding ground for all kinds of perfectionist insecurities. Everyone is always trying to be a little bit better, do a little bit more, work a little bit harder. As a vocalist you should be in choir...and do the opera...and opera workshop...and a summer program in Italy...and sing in masterclasses...etc, etc.

My best friend is a classic example. She's a math major and double minor in art history and the Classics at a competitive college. She has a 4.0 GPA, 3 part time jobs, is involved in a service fraternity and heads multiple clubs, runs marathons...and still feels like she's never good enough!

On a positive note, impostor syndrome often makes women compete harder for their goals. It's what made me audition 4 times for the performance degree when I could have easily gotten a music education degree and not have gone through all the headache of the past 4 years. It's what makes another friend of mine stay up late making sure she has the perfect lesson plans for student teaching.

Impostor syndrome is perfectionism on steroids. Perfectionism is saying, "I need to be perfect." while impostor syndrome is, "I need to be perfect to hide the fact that I'm actually a failure." Impostor syndrome can be at the root of all kinds of mental health issues - depression/anxiety and eating disorders especially. The funny thing is that when you have depression, it's even more difficult to be wonder woman...

I only wish that we could get off the treadmill of our culture-on-overdrive. Stop talking to ourselves in a nastier voice than we would EVER let anyone else speak to us. Stop looking into the future and trying to be thinner, smarter, better, richer, more popular, more successful and actually start ENJOYING the lives we have RIGHT NOW.

Birth Control

Maybe it's just because I've been feeling like complete crap emotionally since Saturday, but I've been extremely frustrated about the current state of birth control. Let me know if you think I'm being ridiculous - my patience threshold is at an all-time low.

Let me start by saying I'm really happy that women have all these different forms of birth control to help them prevent pregnancy. We live in an age where pregnancy is not an all-consuming fear about having sex like it was even 50 or 60 years ago. Honestly, if it weren't for barrier and hormonal methods of contraception, I probably wouldn't be having sex right now. I don't want to see ANY strollers in my immediate (i.e. AT LEAST 5 years) future.

However, here's my dilemma. All methods of contraception seem to have some major downsides. Condoms can be a little bit of a hassle "in the moment," you need to store them correctly (not in your wallet like you see in the movies) and they can break. Hormonal methods (The Pill, the patch, the ring, the shot, IUD's) have 99% effectiveness if they're used correctly, which is awesome. But each have their own set of downsides.

1. All these hormonal methods are completely dependent on the woman. Men have absolutely no part in preventing pregnancy. This can be a good thing if you don't have a steady partner at the moment and don't want to rely on someone else's judgement, but it's not really fair. It perpetrates the idea that pregnancy is "the girl's problem." Uhm...hello! It takes 2 people to get someone pregnant!

2. All of these methods involve putting synthetic hormones in your body to essentially stop its natural cycle. I'm not coming at this from a religious or moral standpoint, but it makes me uncomfortable to be on the pill and have my body essentially being controlled by medication. Then again, I don't like to take Advil if I don't absolutely have to...so maybe I'm crazy.

3. All of these hormonal methods have to be very strictly followed. You have to take your Pill at the exact same time every day, or change your ring or patch at the same time every week/month. If you don't you're at risk of ovulating and blowing the whole thing.

4. The Patch is not invasive, but because of that, it has 60% more hormones in it than a normal low-dose pill (and for the record, "low dose" is labeled at 30 mcg. per day, when there are actually pills out there that are only 20 mcg per day - so that's double!). That amount of synthetic hormones in me just makes me uncomfortable and has a great deal more possible side effects.

5. For the NuvaRing , it's just sort of sitting there, hanging out inside your vagina. I've never tried it but I'd really like to hear feedback - Can you really not feel it during sex? It just weirds me out. Again, I'm probably being a big baby.

6. Other methods that are not time sensitive are very invasive. Depo Provera (the shot) is an injection every 3 months (some people don't mind needles but I have yet to meet someone that truly enjoys them). And IUD  sits in your uterus -it is painful to have put in and has a risk of falling out, which is extremely painful. Implanon is a rod that is implanted in your arm for 3 years. None of theses things are horrible torture devices by any means, but they all just seem very invasive to me.

So, I ask you, if you're comfortable answering:

• What form of contraception do you use? 
• Do you have any qualms with what you use or are you really happy with it?
•  Do you ever have scares or have to use backup methods? 
• Have you tried methods that haven't worked well for you?
• Guys, if there was a birth control for men, would you take it?

What Makes a Slut?

Damn you, Women's Studies! I come out of that class and just want to research feminist theory all day instead of doing the other 49 million things on my to-do list! Maybe I'm just a nerd...haha.

Anyway, we started class today talking about work - what is valued, what is acceptable, how are certain people treated in jobs, etc. Not surprisingly, the topic quickly turned to sex. Teachers having sexual relationships with their students, prostitutes, strippers and porn stars, there was even some talk of sexting (ohh to live in 2011...). 

People used a lot of words. Degrading, sexist, objectification of women etc. But I kept thinking of the classic, colloquial words we use: whore and slut are the most popular today. And I sat there quietly, hungrily listening to peoples points, trying to figure out what I thought of all this. What makes someone a “whore” or a "slut"? Sending someone a sext? Wearing a low cut shirt (whether it's to get a phone number, a one night stand, or a tip while serving or bartending)? Dancing on a pole in a thong? Having sex for money? Having 3 partners...or 10...or 100?

So I thought, what does the dictionary think of this? Well, apparently, alot. Here are some of the things I got back from my search:

Slut: –noun

1. a dirty, slovenly woman.

2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

Synonyms: adulteress, fornicatress, hussy, jade, loose woman, bimbo, floozy, harlot, hooker, hussy, jade, jezebel, malkin, minx, slattern, tramp, wench, whore

Okay…well that’s one of the most vague, subjective definitions I’ve seen in a while. Just to see, I typed in "loose man." Big surprise, I got no results except "Did you mean...ladies man?" Uhh...sure. Here are some synonyms I got for that:

Casanova, Lothario, Prince Charming, Romeo, charmer, heartbreaker, ladies' man, lady-killer, lady-killer, libertine, lover, philanderer, playboy, rake, seducer, skirtchaser, smooth operator, stud, wolf, libertine, womanchaser

First I thought, why the HELL do we get stuck with “tramp” and “hussy” and man get  “charmer” and “seducer?”

Then, I had a light-bulb moment. Even in my Women’s Studies class, where everyone there considers themselves a feminist, women’s sexuality is still looked at as a passive act. Men are considered aggressive, women passive. We “give up” our sexuality, our virtue, our so-called purity, our power. It is 2011, and sex is still not considered an equal act. Our bodies are still not considered ours to do with what we will, but rather objects that we have to protect from abuse.

People kept talking about “objectifying bodies,” but I don’t think it is all about the body. It’s sex, and it’s gender. Sex for women “takes away our power” and “turns us into an object.” But men have sex all the time! Why do men keep their power after engaging in a sexual act but women don’t? Why is men’s power tied up in action and women’s in sexuality. If we “give away” our sexuality, is that all we had to give?

Also, if a woman has had…lets say 10+ sexual partners (depending on her age and the culture she lives in) she gets some side eye. If she has a one-night-stand, or several. We are taught that we should wait until the man in question respects us (through realationship or at times a marriage ceremony) before we “give it away.” But in a one-night stand, does the woman necessarily respect the man?

Why are women not considered human beings who have sexual needs, sexual desires and fantasies, that we have every right to satisfy?

Logically, I know there some pretty good reasons for this. Pregnancy is a biggie. Before birth control, there was no way a woman could have sex and not have a huge chance of getting pregnant. And since they were financially dependant on men, if the men didn’t step up to the plate they were pretty much SOL. Even now, with the pill, the patch, condoms, the ring, etc., there is still the chance of an STD. And there are emotional risks as well. Women literally secrete a chemical that makes us feel closer to the person we’ve slept with afterwards. It’s biological. So I get it.

But it’s 2011. You can protect yourself very well from pregnancy and pretty well from STD’s if you are smart. Wear a condom. Get an HPV shot. Don’t have sex with the guy that apparently gave that girl in your Psych class chlamydia. Don’t send random people naked pictures unless you want yourself all over the internet. Don’t expect to marry the guy you hook up with after you’ve been at Moonies until 1 am. Don’t use sex as a bargaining chip for intimacy.

If a woman is smart and safe about sex, why is there still a stigma? When a woman uses her sexuality, why is it automatically assumed that she has also given away her soul, her power?